i aim at goodness

not sure why we would aim elsewhere

There are few books that I re-read more than All About Love by bell hooks.

As a 2nd-generation Asian American who was born and raised in the States of America, so many of the words on those pages are like a soothing balm to my heart and soul.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how she says, “...there is no stigma attached to acknowledging a lack of love in one's primary relationships. And if one's goal is self-recovery, to be well in one's soul, honestly and realistically confronting lovelessness is part of the healing process.”

This speaks to my experience, and probably many others as well, as a child of immigrants where there was care, duty, and commitment in my relationship with my parents, and yet there was also emotional neglect, lack of affection, and difficult communication.

This also speaks to the collective experience of people from marginalized and vulnerable communities in a white supremacist, capitalist, patriarchal society. Honestly and realistically confronting the ways I’ve been hurt by these interlocking systems of oppression, as well as the ways in which I’ve internalized and benefited from them, is necessary to be well in my soul.

🎶 What is Love? 🎶

In his book The Art of Loving, German psychoanalyst Erich Fromm presents love as a